Sunday, October 6, 2013

Why You Should Hang out with an English Major

1.) Our discussions in class usually revolve around sex and drugs.

2.) Your republican parents will hate what your English professors have to say about politics.

2.) Even we bs our way through papers.

3.) We love to analyze people, and we normally know what a person's problem is before he or she becomes aware that there is a problem.

4.)  If we find you interesting, we will make a mental note about you and will include you in one of our future stories.

5.) If we find what you say interesting, we will make a mental note about what you said and use it in one of our future stories.

6.) We can proofread your papers for you. (Although sometimes, we use this ability as leverage.)

7.) We like to talk about fictional characters until they seem real.

8.) We aren't clingy. We are perfectly fine with staying in and reading a book or writing a paper than going out on a Friday night.

9.) We enjoy trying new things and experiencing different cultures. We love to incorporate what we learn into future stories.

10.) We catch all of those puns and references you make that other people don't understand.

11.) We compare seemingly unrelated movies to books. (Like Lion King and Hamlet.)

12.) If we aren't careful, we can turn into hipsters faster than you can say "type writer and oxford shoes in the park."

13.) Blatant grammar mistakes make us twitch like schitzos.

14.) We recommend books that you will actually enjoy.

15.) We hate when condescending people ask us about our post-graduation plans. (I dunno, maybe I'll work at Starbucks like every other graduate from every other major who can't find a freaking job right now.)